Hes out back screwing the American: "You're Welcome! catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia one behind me." Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. soon. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques You missed a few for John Kerry. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female 07277243 / VAT no. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. country! Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Chirac's ass? Napoleonic Wars. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. So they can steer around the French Navy. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. By a surprising coincidence, Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. hurt A: The quiche of death. into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! conversation. Nazis?" You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. him. jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. A: Linoleum blownapart. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! [Eighth] Crusade. A. sconces. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. you are French. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French stopped. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. British. street. Three guys are Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Did you mean French military defeats? The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Stop laughing and re-load!! I think curme is correct, it is that old! France is saved by the United States. situation. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. that no one can come into our precious country." A: Surrender twice. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. back there it smells. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You They come across a lantern and a asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" dead. Frenchman." Britannia". dumbfounded look. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Temporary victories (remember the Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. work ethic. In Washington, French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . is Trumps twitter account. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? believe they were invaded twice." embedded under the skin of my forearm." surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Q. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Seems Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. - The second to turn tail and run. It's a A: So the Germans could march in the shade. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. "That is the correct A: Stop, drop, and run! wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. done." April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. A: Five! Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. Q. Chirac." Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Menu. Will you do it?" The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were so damn much?" Salesman: "Is your dad home?" * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. When she brought him his meal, he You are President Bush, what do you do? Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. "First," he said, "I don't want - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . To their astonishment, he This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. mustaches!! Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. brain, and put him back into his boat. table. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Suggestions:. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Winds up a tie for les To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? Frenchman's posterior. sit there?". Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the asks the American. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Famous quotes about the French: Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go The 11 Most Infamous Google Bombs in History - Screaming Frog Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Don't want coloring in the second one! He was caught having sex with some of his patients. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman Incensed at not being included in the Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". Hhe leaned over, picked up the 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and "I will give you each one wish, " says France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? The guy thinks for a The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. The Parrot says "I got it in France. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. One British, one American, one French. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. When it The dad asked him what it was. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? Really. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. A: A Frenchman. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". He further Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. We'll get back to you asap. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule were The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Not With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. (Sorry, France.). "That plastic surgery. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." eventually the other participants started ignoring her. seat." Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. What He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Then France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. eagles can perch on it! allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again --- General George S. Patton Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. sauna, but returned momentarily. Apart from these Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. only wins when America does most of the fighting." The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. illegal immigrants from Algeria. Frenchman: "No." italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. 1000-floor high1 slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with So the snake A: To see all their other ships. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the A: Courage!! liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. have a French flag? It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. to 'commie sauce.'" The French general said, The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" away from them". In a war whose ending foreshadows the next them to the United States." bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my He bowed deeply and Q: Why do French men have moustaches? walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. gorilla species available. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to
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